Randam Adam

September 16th, 2009 9:12am

Well Ive been thinking a lot lately; about me, my family and my friends. Not just about the "what if's?" I was going thru scrapbooks and finding old photos on the computer that i haven't seen in awhile, photos of: of me as a kid, family vacations, birthday parties, the old high school group SHINE from Calvary Chapel H.B., my early days in the college group at Calvary Chapel WestGrove.
Although a lot of these pictures made me sad, to think about the friends I've lost or have lost touch with and how much I miss some of them and Family members that have passed away. It also brought joy into my mind, to think about the good times, the fun, adventures, and happiness that people brought me as well.

So my question is " Should the bad times, no matter how severe outshine the good times? Is it possible to overcome those feelings of anger, hurt and betrayal?" Well with GOD's help I am trying, one of my new outlooks on life is that i don't have the time and energy to harbor these feeling anymore, i cant be exhausting myself feeling this way! These feelings kept me from going to church for awhile cause i felt like I didn't want to be a hypocrite going while I had hatred in my heart and the devil was telling me that I shouldn't go. So I am releasing all of these feelings out of me and I hope to never see them again! SO to all of those people who have hurt me I say to you all " I forgive you!... I don't necessarily wanna be friends with you, but I forgive you! Now when i see you the anger wont churn inside me , tearing me apart,makingme fellike I'm gonna explode, I just don't care anymore! You no longer have a hold on me or my life, I wont let you be a part of me any longer!"

Wow! I feel better already! :-) Sorry I got a bit sidetracked, I was writing about the good times and the great memories and all of the nostalgia of thinking about the best of times. I just wanted to take the time right now to thank each and everyone of you, my family and friends for: your love, support, and prayers for me over the years! If I never got the chance to tell you this ever again, I LOVE YOU and I am a better person BECAUSE I KNEW YOU (Well most of u anyways LOL, I'm just kidding) and if we were to never meet again on this earth I just would want you to know that, and I pray we will meet again in heaven.



OK, now that i got myself all teary, a quick update on the paperwork and tests. I have two different doctors right now that have put in for for my PET scan, so im waiting to hear from them about that. I'm gonna make some more calls today and gather more information on local organizations that might be able to help me with everything and I'm almost finished with the Medi-Cal paperwork and hope to turn it in tomorrow!
So until next time....
GOD Bless,
ADP