Randam Adam

OK, So it is day three after Chemotherapy and I wanted to do just a basic post about what happened and all that I felt and can remember.

Sorry its taken a few days to get this up, I have really been resting and just went out last night for the first time.

  So I arrived at the hospital around 8:40am and I was put into my own room. I will not always have this, just depends on how busy they are, they do have main rooms but like to let you be by yourself your first time so you can have more personal interaction with the nurses and doctors and can ask questions and they keep a closer eye on you.  It was a nice little room with a bathroom that I shared with the patient next door.

  So I was extremely nervous and my blood pressure showed it when they first took it.   But it went back to normal after I relaxed a bit.  Well my dad dropped me off and it was a lot of waiting at first. Then nurses and doctors came in to talk to me and started explaining what they were gonna do. The first thing that was done was that they sterilized my entire chest and the area around when the portacath is at. After that the lovely needle went into my chest.  Seeing as my incisions and the area around it isn't even healed yet this was pretty painful ( I'm told after it heals fully that the area basically becomes numb).  They started me off on a water (or saline drip) that basically starts flushed thru the tubes and make sure everything is going where its supposed to and that all is well inside.

The type of chemotherapy Im on is called "R CHOP" so there are four types of medicines they give me there that day and the fifth part is a pill that I take at home twice a day.

  They say that the first time getting chemo takes a lot longer cause they have to take every medicine super slow at first to make sure that you dont have any major allergic reactions.  So they say that a typical chemo session can be between four to five hours,  I was there for a little over nine. So they said my body did extremely well and had no major reactions.  So nexttime hopefully it will be shorter.

  I would say that the majority of the time I didnt feel anything beside the liquid moving through me, but the third medicine is called a "Direct IV Push" where instead of an IV Drip they have these four needles and they basically squeeze them really quickly into me.  hat one hurt a little bit, kind of a warm burning sensation inside my heart spreading out into my extremities.  It went away after a few minutes though.

My Nurse Gloria.
She was awesome, she checked on me every few minutes to make sure I was ok, and that my body was reacting harshly to the chemo.


So the main things I felt while I was there would be tiredness, soreness and Im not sure if it was my body or the room but I was hot alot of the time.  Besides that it was just alot of lying around. I had my Gameboy DS, newspapers, my web enabeled cell phone, magazines and even a pad and paper.  The only thing I really did was watch some tv and be online and text, I was pretty restless and tired, but its really hard to sleep when there are lights on and its daytime and someone comes in every few minutes to check your vitals and see how you are.
So it was a long day, but I survived, I learned a few things I can do next time, like bring ligt snacks and to wear shorts and maybe a tank top.  I met alot of great and kind nurses there and even some volunteers that were awesome as well.  I am truly blessed thst GOD  helped me find UCI and Doctor Sender and that I feel like I am getting some great care.


   So far the main effects that I am feeling would be: tiredness, a bit of soreness, a little queasy and just a feeling like I am borderline getting the flu.  Ive also had a little bit of a headache for the past few days, but just resting and drinking tons of water.  I'm also talking to people who have gone thru this recently and trying to learn as much as I can about the process and the effects of the chemo and side effects of all of the medicines.

   So please continue to pray, I'm hoping that I don't get really sick, but they say that most part feeling it in the week after the injections.  So time will tell.  If you have any questions or suggestions or just anything at all please leave a comment. I will try to be on every few days to update you guys and keep you up to date!

                                                       GOD Bless,
                                                                         ADP

  Well I just got the call from Julie at Doctor Senders office in UCI and all three things that I have been waiting for have been approved! The tissue sample was delivered to their pathology lab this morning. They are gonna re-test it and have a clear cut diagnosis by Fri.  Then they are gonna talk to me and set up a chemotherapy plan and their hope is that I will be starting chemotherapy by mid next week.

  Also they are scheduling me for the eco-cardiogram test of my heart and the minor surgical procedure of installing the portacath which is where they administer the chemo and draw blood from.   So although I am happy to finally have this happening it is also a scary thought.   So all prayers are appreciated and I will blog any more as soon as I hear anything about specifics or dates. I just got my appointment time for the ecocardiogram and I'm having it done this Thursday at 2:30pm. If you have any questions or suggestions please leave a comment. As always, thank you so much for caring .

                                                           GOD Bless,
                                                                            ADP

OK, so i didn't write yesterday cause there was sooo much going on and I just could  handle writing cause I was on emotional overload .

  So after the awesome visit that inspired me and filled me with hope on Tuesday i get a call yesterday from Dr Senders office telling me that I need to change my "MEDICAL HOME"  to include their facility. I called MSI and before I even got a callback Dr Senders office called me again and told me that they said that as of September 1st no one can change their medical home.

  Dr Senders office said that without approval to have them be my medical home they cant start any treatments. Well i was making phone calls to everybody that I knew to call.I even called Medi-Cal to check up on my application. So needless to say that by the end of yesterday I was upset and distraught! I had an oncologist that cared for me and is willing to help me out' treat me and is a specialist in my field an then I have an insurance company that wants me to be seen by an oncologist that doesn't care about me and even said that she couldn't even treat me!


  So for the first time since finding out I have cancer I broke down and cried! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT CRY OUT to GOD and ask for mercy!  So I put it on my facebook and twitter asking everyone to pray for me and that GOD would intervene and somehow sway the insurance company to change their minds and their new policy.

  This morning I got a call back from the insurance company, just to tell me that I'm not eligible to change doctors til the end of December. I begged and pleaded with them and explained  that the doctor they are trying to send me to told me that she doesn't treat my type of cancer in her facility and they said thats the rules! I get a call back from the same lady from MSI about fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with her saying that Dr Sender himself called the medical director of California and pleaded my case personally and got them to overturn that rule for me and so now I am approved to see Dr Sender and get my treatment and chemotherapy done thru UCI!

  So praises be to GOD, I was literally at the point of despair last night and today I am rejoicing and praising GOD! HE is good and I am seeing his work in this situation.  I still don't really know they "why" behind all of this, but I am amazed and humbled about how he has worked to help the insurance situation.

  I also want to personally thank each and every friend, family member, brothers and sisters in Christ and any strangers who lifted me up in prayer. Its an overwhelming feeling to know that people all over the place are thinking and praying for you!

  I also need to thank Dr Sender and every other person in his office that has gone to bat for me (Dora, Teresa, Linda, Julie, Anna and anyone else that name escapes me at the moment)
I am soo lucky to have found people that actually care if i live or die! thank you soooo much!

  Well i am on my way to Disneyland for my B-Day  so I have to go (don't worry I'm not driving and writing this) LOL. God Bless you all and I pray that I can be as good as a friend and prayer warrior as you guys have been for me!

     An eternally Grateful,
                                       ADP

So I finally got to go see Dr Sender at UCI today. After talking to everyone in their office for the past three or four weeks. I only got approved to see him cause his awesome office put in a lot of calls to the insurance company & pushed them to approve me.

So as soon as I got into the office the entire staff that Ive been talking to for the past few weeks came in and introduced themselves and they all gave me a hug. it was overpoweringly emotional. Its just such of a relief to finally know that there are people out there that truly do care about me and my well being.

So I saw the doctor and he and his physicians assistant discussed the previous test that I have had and what those results were. what it boils down to is that although the surgical biopsy did tell us that it was Non-Hodgkins B-Cell Lymphoma, it said "with possible Burkitts Lymphoma" and Dr Sender says that he doesn't do "possibles" they want an exact diagnosis so they are ordering my tissue samples to be sent to UCI so their world class pathologists can examine them and know for sure if I have Burkitts or not.

I also brought the cd with he PET scan images on it and he is gonna have the radiologist there at the hospital take a look at the images and give a second opinion and maybe a reason why the other lymph nodes did not show up on the scan.

So from the pathological review I am gonna find out if I have intermediate lymphoma or a type of Burkitts, and there are two types that it could be: a inactive lymphoma (if I had it but there is no longer any traceable cancer in my body) or another kind that is active.

The bad news is that all of the above require chemotherapy: depending on what their review of my tissue sample find will just change the type of chemotherapy I get and how long the treatments will be. The shortest one is a few months and the longest one would be around or a little over six months . He didn't give me a ton of information on the chemotherapy cause he said that it would be pointless to flood me with all this information until they have an exact diagnosis.

Dr Sender also discussed with me that he is looking for a young person to blog and or tweet about their experience, so he mentioned to me that maybe I could be that person, that bring this information and all of my experiences to a new generation. He told me that he has a lot of young patients with cancer and it is a very scary thing. So I was thinking "could this be my purpose? My reason for going through this?" who knows but GOD and only time will tell. But just having that thought gave me some new hope and shed some light on my situation. I guess uplifting would be the word for it.

So I think that's all the information I have for now' or all that I can remember at this time. I will be sure to keep you all updated on what I find out. Thanks again for reading and caring about me and please keep the prayers coming!

GOD Bless,
ADP

So as you all know I have been struggling with he insurance company to be approved for the next round of tests & also to see a oncologist that I was told about by my friend Jay at the American Cancer Society. Well I have been in constant contact with this doctors office and they have been talking to me and I have been keeping them abreast of whats going on with the insurance company so they have been calling my primary doctor nd putting pressure on them to do follow up calls and they have also started calling the insurance company and bugging them as well.

So I got a call from Dr. Senders office late his afternoon and they called and yelled at someone and got the insurance company to say yes for me to see hem. Now this is how awesome Dr Senders office is, they are rushing me in to have a consult with the doctor tomorrow afternoon, and its his day out of the office! I am seriously soooo grateful to finally have someone that I feel truly cares for my well being. Its a blessing, a true blessing!


So praise GOD for all of that. Its gonna be a consult and we are gonna go over all of the results from the previous test that I have had done. Were also gonna discuss the next steps and other tests that I need 2 have done. So please continue to pray that those can be approved asap so they can get a clear idea of what I have and how to treat it! Soooo thank you sooo much for all of your thoughts and prayers and I will be sure to blog about what I happen to find out at the doctors appointment tomorrow!

As always GOD Bless and I love You!
ADP

So I haven't been doing a lot of updates cause I have been waiting for some new information to come in, so I will just write what I know & what is seriously pissing me off right now.

So after waiting for weeks to hear back tests approvals and such just to be told that there are new rules and only your primary care physician can put in requests I called up my Primary doctor and told them all that the oncologist told me I needed to have done. That was about a week and a half ago. Then I was there last Thursday early in the morning for a check-up I asked the lady at the front desk if they have heard back yet & they then tell me "Oh we have the requests here in your file, they just haven't been faxed out yet. we have been busy" & she said it with an attitude, like I was bothering her. It was at this point that I had to restrain myself from choking the rude lady behind the counter. I HAVE CANCER & your taking your sweet time in getting the requests in for these vitally important tests that could help me start treatment sooner?!?!

So when i saw the doctor I stressed the fact that they have been holding onto these when they should have been out over a week ago! The doctor said that she agreed that this was urgent so she left the examination room and when she came back she said that she talked to he front desk and the requests were being faxed out immediately!

So I called today to check on them and see if they have heard anything yet and somewhere in the conversation she said "You have to give it time, these request just went out on FRIDAY" and I was like "Excuse me? You mean Thursday right?" & she check and told me that the faxes went out Friday afternoon. I was sooo livid I had to hold back the cuss words, I told her that I watched the doctor go over and tell them to fax them asap! I then explained to her that I put those request in over a week before that!

Please pray for me to get some competent people to be working on my case and I also pray that GOD helps me with this anger right now, its probably a defense mechanism that my body is turning to anger instead of fear but at this moment I feel like I could punch a thousand people in the face! Thanks once again for all of your thoughts and prayers!

GOD Bless,
ADP

OK, so another day has come and gone, and Ive been on the phone all day and waiting for call backs. I was told by a doctor that I needed to call MSI myself, and request to be transferred to Dr Sender. I called MSI on Friday and left a message, I also called back this morning and left a message.In the Middle of the day they called me back and after I told them that I wanted to transfer to a different and competent oncologist and they told me that I cannot request it, it has to come from my current doctors (SOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!!)

So I called my P.C.P. (Primary Care Physician) and told them this and they were telling me that was wrong, I begged them to please put in a request for me and Crissy the front desk nurse is soo awesome she said that she would. I gave them Dr Senders information and she said that they would put a fax out today and hopefully we will hear back soon.

On a separate note After numerous phone calls myself to my oncologist, to the radiology center and also Dr Senders people calling we got my PET scan move to tomorrow!! What is a PETScan you ask? So I'm having it done in Irvine at 12:45 in the afternoon. So I have had to do the same diet as yesterday and after about 3am tomorrow morning I can't eat or anything besides water , sooo fun, a full day of no food! So I'm gonna be doing that and its a few hours total for everything to be done and I am told that all today and tomorrow I need to be resting and relaxing, So ill probably stay in bed most of the day.



So please just prayers for the rest of my tests to get approved asap, that I get approved to see Dr Sender out of UCI and that I can get a clear defined diagnosis of what I have and the stage of it and also that I can start my treatment asap!


Once again, thank you so much for caring enough to read this. Please leave comments or suggestions and I will do an update as soon as I get back from doing the PET scan or if I hear anything further tomorrow beforehand.

GOD Bless,

ADP

September 16th, 2009 9:12am

Well Ive been thinking a lot lately; about me, my family and my friends. Not just about the "what if's?" I was going thru scrapbooks and finding old photos on the computer that i haven't seen in awhile, photos of: of me as a kid, family vacations, birthday parties, the old high school group SHINE from Calvary Chapel H.B., my early days in the college group at Calvary Chapel WestGrove.
Although a lot of these pictures made me sad, to think about the friends I've lost or have lost touch with and how much I miss some of them and Family members that have passed away. It also brought joy into my mind, to think about the good times, the fun, adventures, and happiness that people brought me as well.

So my question is " Should the bad times, no matter how severe outshine the good times? Is it possible to overcome those feelings of anger, hurt and betrayal?" Well with GOD's help I am trying, one of my new outlooks on life is that i don't have the time and energy to harbor these feeling anymore, i cant be exhausting myself feeling this way! These feelings kept me from going to church for awhile cause i felt like I didn't want to be a hypocrite going while I had hatred in my heart and the devil was telling me that I shouldn't go. So I am releasing all of these feelings out of me and I hope to never see them again! SO to all of those people who have hurt me I say to you all " I forgive you!... I don't necessarily wanna be friends with you, but I forgive you! Now when i see you the anger wont churn inside me , tearing me apart,makingme fellike I'm gonna explode, I just don't care anymore! You no longer have a hold on me or my life, I wont let you be a part of me any longer!"

Wow! I feel better already! :-) Sorry I got a bit sidetracked, I was writing about the good times and the great memories and all of the nostalgia of thinking about the best of times. I just wanted to take the time right now to thank each and everyone of you, my family and friends for: your love, support, and prayers for me over the years! If I never got the chance to tell you this ever again, I LOVE YOU and I am a better person BECAUSE I KNEW YOU (Well most of u anyways LOL, I'm just kidding) and if we were to never meet again on this earth I just would want you to know that, and I pray we will meet again in heaven.



OK, now that i got myself all teary, a quick update on the paperwork and tests. I have two different doctors right now that have put in for for my PET scan, so im waiting to hear from them about that. I'm gonna make some more calls today and gather more information on local organizations that might be able to help me with everything and I'm almost finished with the Medi-Cal paperwork and hope to turn it in tomorrow!
So until next time....
GOD Bless,
ADP

Ok, so im putting the date as the subject cause i just realized that all of my posts are dated April 17th, and i don't know why.
So I went to church last night and it was soo amazing to see my old friends and confidants the Wagner's! Thanks Noelle for being awesome as usual. I really enjoyed Chris sermon and after the service i went in for prayer and was anointed with oil and prayed over for healing. Its just the thing i needed to get back into the word of GOD and fellowship with HIM. GOD really spoke to me and I got some great ideas for poems and some key words that spoke to me. of Also it was great to see Ray and Karissa and their new addition to their family. CONGRATS u guys! I will add u guys getting a bigger house to my prayer list, but just don't move to far away.
Well today Ive got to be calling my doctors cause i cannot find all of my past medical paperwork. I'm also gonna be calling some cancer foundations to see if they can help me out with anything from getting treatment, help expediting my Medi-Cal application and even some Lymphoma support groups in the area.I have soo much to get done, its overwhelming, but im surprisingly keeping it all together( for now), i have too much to do to break down now, and i know i need to cry out and let these sea of emotions purge out of me, but im afraid if i do i will go into depressed and self pity mode and then i wont be of use to anyone especially me. So i have a lot to do. Ill try to blog later with another update. Please keep your prayers, and any suggestions or comments coming. They really are helping. So in the meantime Ill pray to stay in God's gentle hands.

GOD Bless,
ADP

PS- Picture of College Group trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain February 2003
I love and miss all of my old friends from the college group

Well here is an update. I called the American Cancer Society last night and talked 2 them for over 2 hours. I asked tons of questions about treatments, side effect and all of that. They r also gonna be e-mailing me all the information they told me over he phone.
They also told me about local organizations that can possibly help me out with expediting my Medi-Cal application and others that might be able to help me get my tests done that i need asap.
So im a little bit more hopeful. I have a ton of information to collect and that i need 2 fill out these applications about my past medical history.
I'm somehow keeping it together, i haven't had a breakdown yet, i have 2 much too find out and too much to get done 2 have a breakdown right now. Thank you all soo much for your thoughts and prayers, please keep them coming and comment are always welcomes and very much appreciated.
Some updates coming soon to my blog: I'm going to be adding a music player that is going to have songs that are fun, inspirational, that make me happy and that inspire emotions. Some are sad, & some are fun, but i enjoy them all . Another new addition is that i going to be adding a place for some Bible Verses that i have found or that people have given to me that have really spoken to me during this time. Thank you all sooo much for caring and keep coming back and I'll do my best to keep you all updated.
GOD Bless,
ADP

As I look to the sky, I wonder, “What lies ahead of me?” Not knowing the future or what I should expect. “How much pain will I feel? What kind of pain will I put my family and friends through?”

I can’t help but to think, “Why is this happening to me? Did I do something to deserve this? Does anyone deserve this? Could I have done something to prevent this? Is this somehow my fault?”

I want to cry out to GOD, but does he hear me? He knows all, so what could this possibly accomplish? I don’t want to, but I feel hurt and betrayed by yet another set of trials and tribulations, the BIGGEST ONE of my life, that I have yet to face. I am praying that I can be strong and to trust him and to have tremendous faith.

As the sun sets on this chapter of my life, I can’t help but to think, “Will there be another chapter, a new beginning? Will the sun rise tomorrow and be brighter then ever? Will the air be crisper, the grass greener, the world a better place then it is today?” I can only have faith that it will be.

So I guess I’ll just have to wait, and look to the heavens and just hope to see that sliver of first daylight. “Will it ever come?? PLEASE COME!!!!”

ADP

Photo taken tonight at 7:23pm from my cell phone

WAITING.....
Sitting around waiting, waiting for something 2 happen. Anxious, nervous, stressed about the future. What will happen? Am i strong enough? Do i have What it takes? Why me GOD, why? What can i learn from this? Is this part of your bigger plan? Sick and tired of waiting, waiting 2 hear, waiting to see, waiting 2 know! But what can i do? I guess Ill just wait...
ADP

Well i guess i should start with the main reason i started this blog. I HAVE CANCER! I know, are u as shocked as i am by reading that? LOL
Well just a few days ago i was told that i have Non-Hodgkins B-Cell Lymphoma with possible Burkitts Lymphoma. I don't have a lot of details as of now cause they have more tests to run, but i do know that i had three very enlarged lymph nodes in my groin that i discovered in March of this year. I didn't know what it was then, everybody thought it was a hernia due to my back injury,but when the finally got around to testing it, it wasn't. So then i had a few more tests done and they thought the three lumps were cysts or tumors, so i had a needle biopsy done about a month and a half ago and although we learned that they were lymph nodes the rest of the results were inconclusive. So i had to wait another month to have a full surgical biopsy where they removed the top and largest lymph node and thats how i was diagnosed.
The worst part is that im on workmans-comp cause of a very serious back injury that has had me out of work for over 2 years now, and i had to have 2 spinal surgeries & hardware drilled into my spine! Since im not working i cant afford private health care so im on MSI (a government assistance program for medical things) and my oncologist wants me to get treated at UCI Medical Center for my chemotherapy im gonna have to do, but guess what? They dont take MSI, so now i have to go apply for another form of assistance, Medi-Cal cause they take that,but its a long and complicated process with lots of paperwork that i need to fill out, and documents of my own that i need to find and collect. So here i am with cancer needing to get tested asap to find out some vital information about it and im stuck behind a wall of lines, forms and government formalities! So please keep me in prayer that i can find some way to be rushed thru the application process.
I will come on as much as possible to write everything out and please comment and ask questions and ill try to answer them the best that i can. I will b talking to you all soon!
GOD Bless,
ADP